patience, iago

They make this world seem real.

2012-01-29T16:03:00.000-08:00

This memory is real, this memory is old in some ways and new only in it's inception. Dialogue. Monologue. Celtx.

milky ways

2012-01-26T18:23:00.001-08:00

'The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday--but never jam to-day.'
'It MUST come sometimes to "jam to-day,"' Alice objected.
'No, it can't,' said the Queen. 'It's jam every OTHER day: to-day isn't any OTHER day, you know.'
'I don't understand you,' said Alice. 'It's dreadfully confusing!'
'That's the effect of living backwards,' the Queen said kindly: 'it always makes one a little giddy at first--'
'Living backwards!' Alice repeated in great astonishment. 'I never heard of such a thing!'
'--but there's one great advantage in it, that one's memory works both ways.'
'I'm sure MINE only works one way,' Alice remarked. 'I can't remember things before they happen.'
'It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards,' the Queen remarked.

The furthest you can go into the woods is halfway.

2012-01-25T18:13:00.001-08:00

I don't even know what I'm waiting for anymore. Readreadreadreadreadreadreadreadreadread. I'll always be by your side. Even when you're down and out. I'll always be by your side. I just wanted to be your housewife, all I wanted was to be your housewife. I'll iron your clothes, I'll shine your shoes. I'll make your bed, and cook your food. I'll never cheat. I'll be the best girl you'd ever meet. And for a diamond ring, I'd do these kind of things. I'll scrub your floors, never be a bore. I'd tuck you in and I do not snore. I'd wear your black eyes. Bake you apple pies. I won't ask why.

I've been getting de-ja vu about getting de-ja vu A LOT lately. Or maybe I just had de-ja vu where I thought about getting it a lot. Either way it's blowing my mind like your ugly, fat ex girlfriend.

A Woman Who Began to Suspect She Was Made of Glass

2012-01-24T18:49:00.000-08:00

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/detachment/

I'll watch anything that's got Adrien Brody and Bryan Cranston.

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/aynrandandtheprophecyofatlasshrugged/

Ayn Rand, you scary.

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/thepruittlgoemyth/

Interesting. Wonder why apple spelled the title incorrectly in the link...

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/thinice/

Greg Kinnear... kind of iffy on this one. Looks like one of those movies where all the best parts were edited into the trailer. Mainly because they don't really make sense as a trailer. Or maybe the production company that made the trailer was shitty. That's a concept I've never really gotten. You make a movie, then you have someone else make the trailer? I would just show the first 5 minutes of the movie. Like a book you read before deciding to buy.

-- While editing this post for the 5th time, I realized that in about 2 years, this post will just be broken links. ((like hipsters to blogspot))

My best friend disappeared off the face of the earth. Her phone is disconnected. If I had the energy, I'm sure I could find her at some house party with a bunch of people I used to kind of know from a friend of an acquaintance. Whenever I saw her once a lunar cycle, we used to talk about stupid shit and get our minds off of our real life. We stole beer from her boyfriend-at-the-time's brother and his fat girlfriend. Then, when we were caught they yelled at each other while I sat silently in the backseat. I miss her. The last thing she said to me when I called her at 5 PM in the afternoon, "Yeah I just woke up, let me call you later."

I am finally going to make it through Infinite Jest... after watching The Animatrix.

2012-01-21T02:48:00.000-08:00

I just woke up at about 1AM. I got home from work and immediately went to sleep. I was offered a position today for an internal transfer I interviewed for about 2 weeks ago. Believe me, it was the most perfect time for it. I was just beginning to show signs of wear, and I think today it showed because everyone was asking me if I was okay this morning. Honestly, I couldn't shake off the funk the night before had left me in, and I skipped my morning coffee.

Anyways, it comes with a 10% salary raise and I will be going back into training -_____- I'm happy. Excited to be moving onward and up, towards something good. Always something good. I had been asked to travel for work to another state to help training newbies in their on the job training at a new service center to do my job. I turned it down because it was going to keep me out of my home and life for 20 day straight. I really could not look forward to that because with everything that happened and did not feel overwhelmingly good about it, which I'm glad I could recognize would not lead to anything good at all.

you get sloppy drunk, i stay whiskey neat.

2012-01-19T17:49:00.000-08:00

Turned down a great opportunity at work because it just didn't feel like the right thing to do at this point in time. I feel good about saying no because fuck, I can actually say no to something at work now. I'm not the yes person I though I was that led to me being walked all over and bossed around. I felt like I was saying no, this does not mean as much to me as it does to you. Where ever I'm going in my life I do not need to take this step to get there. I do know what I need to do, and I'm going to do it. Educating myself is always going to be my top priority from now on. I won't settle for something I can do well, I'm going to strive to do something I love and make it perfect.

Half Nelson (2006)
Fucking awesome movie. Just can't believe Ryan Gosling.

we'll be young forever.

2012-01-14T11:49:00.000-08:00

I'm still me, still living with a tiny bit of reckless abandon. I've got one foot in, one anchor ready to harbor whenever the time is right. Life's been living everyday left brain and dreaming every night right brain. The big picture is hard to see when the day is a magnifying glass on the present. Big plans to see ~~New York, Las Vegas and back to~~ Japan ~~in December for Christmas and New Years~~. (edit: january 24, 2012 at 10:23pm)

i'm ready for the work week.

2012-01-08T21:32:00.000-08:00

love this movie.

**

2012-01-06T20:11:00.001-08:00

Truly realized how lucky I am to know what I want.

Hoarders.

2012-01-03T17:29:00.001-08:00

Getting rid of all the clutter in my apartment. Totally think me and Edgar have the potential to become mini hoarders. Not crazy hoarders like on this show but... I bet that's what they all said...

the greatest god damn movies ever made (missing and never complete)

2012-01-03T16:44:00.000-08:00

subtitle// "Oh Yeah I Forgot About That Movie, That Movie Changed ME"
(in order of memory spillage, you can kinda see certain trains of thought if you're familiar with six degrees of kevin bacon and/or themes, ideas, and/or aesthetics)

the matrix
city of god
the departed
the lotr series
funny girl
annie hall
apocalypse now
being john malkovitch
adaptation
eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
dark city
the thirteenth floor
pi
full metal jacket
gangs of new york
ghost world
the godfather
the godfather part II
gosford park
sense and sensibility
trainspotting
monsters, inc.
shaun of the dead
dawn of the dead
the darjeeling limited
the royal tenenbaums
the pianist
psycho
the shining
se7en
pulp fiction
roman holiday
saving private ryan
the silence of the lambs
2001: a space odyssey
a scanner darkly
y tu mama tambien
la mala educacion
pan's labyrinth
the orphanage
fear and loathing in las vegas
12 monkeys

disclaimer; if you notice certain directors' movies are grouped together but there's one or some missing. those are the ones that i generally feel 'meh, it's alright' about.

ass burgers.

2012-01-03T14:09:00.001-08:00

I'm supposed to be cleaning my apartment right now. The dishwasher is running, that counts for something, right? I'm bored. There's nothing in the fridge, there's nothing on the internet. I miss miss miss my family.

I'm going to start reading something today. Philip K. Dick, I presume. Work's been awesome. I've got responsibility fuck yeah. I just need to get a hold on these student loans and work out my cell phone plan. God damn this apartment is messy. My doggie is so cute. I love her. Summer get here already, I love how pretty San Antonio gets.

The Marriage Plot (2011)

2012-01-01T21:07:00.000-08:00

Last book I read in 2011. Middlesex is one of my hands down favorites, ever. I can't describe how happy I was to see it on my favorite cousin's bookshelf, of whom I hadn't seen in years. So I immediately bought the ebook version from b&n.com to read on my nook while making the 24 hour journey to Okinawa. I ended up being too excited on the plane to read, and only started it a couple days before I left. Once I made it past the first few pages, I started getting into it. I really need to say that I disliked Madeleine. Mitchell kind of annoyed me and I sort of liked Leonard, but his Mercurial disposition was off-putting and since that was the whole point of the book therein lies my problem with it. I didn't quite care about them enough to really be surprised with the ending. What was so great about Madeleine? Reading this book was like being in a relationship with these people and by the end I was lovesick.

It was entertaining yes, but I did not enjoy these peoples' plight. It did however make me want to travel more and be more ambitious with my learnings.

I'm not sure how critics do it, because after reading the whole book I really can't find much to say about it. Anyways, I'm now watching Serenity after having watched the whole series of Firefly.

2012

2011-12-31T22:40:00.001-08:00

miss my family more than anything. 2 more years left until they come back and life gets way better.

Los Angeles International to Tokyo International

2011-12-27T23:50:00.000-08:00

I'm eating a huge cherry gummy bear and watching Firefly. Getting addicted to pinterest. More places to waste time on the internet.

I want to read more.

tehehehe

2011-12-21T19:26:00.001-08:00

can i sail through the changing ocean tides?

2011-12-14T07:49:00.000-08:00

Without my boyfriend, I'd be lost, I'd find my way alone but I want to find it with him.

matcha frappacino.

2011-12-13T01:06:00.001-08:00

v.v
went to this bad ass cafe. pictures later.

wish i had more time here.

2011-12-11T19:41:00.001-08:00

PROTEIGON from BURAYAN on Vimeo.

Loooove my family.

2011-12-09T00:29:00.001-08:00

Japan is amazing.

I've read exactly zero of the books I brought.

Los Angeles to Tokyo, reading list.

2011-11-30T19:23:00.000-08:00

These are the books I have on my nook:

Pale Blue Dot by Carl Sagan
Choke
Rant both by Chuck Palahniuk
The Book of the New Sun series by Gene Wolfe
Death Is Not The End
The Naming of the Dead both by Ian Rankin
Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
A Scanner Darkly
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep
Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said
The Man in the High Castle
The Minority Report, all by Philip K. Dick
Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
I Am Legend by Richard Matheson
Hell's Angels by Hunter S. Thompson
A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
The Dark Tower Series by Stephen King
The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving
Infinite Jest by DFW of course.
The neeewwwest, is The Marriage Plot by Jeffrey Eugenides

I also downloaded books to the Kindle app on my touchpad:

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell
Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children

I think I may have overcompensated for a 24 hour trip to Japan, but better to be prepared.

the wonder decades

2011-10-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

I am so POOR. Just paid our electricity bill, which was only about 40 bucks but rent needs to be saved and every penny counts for my trip to Japan. But of course, in the past month I've acquired a new addiction to Pumpkin Spice lattes from Starbucks, virtual window shopping which is just like regular online shopping except when you get to the part after searching for your debit card instead of following through with the number punching you simply x out of the window and retreat back to netflix.

So what's the deal when posting pictures of editorials and fashion shows? Is there anyway that any of that could come back to bit me in the ass? Just now asking this question after years of doing it with no thought. Wild style.

Here are some photos I liked and filched from various websites: I have a studio apartment so I need all the help I can get.

Hmmn... I think if I'm going to pull this off I need to buy more books. The last books I ordered off of Amazon was a hardcover Catch-22 and A Scanner Darkly. I don't think Infinite Jest counts because after I got frustrated with the footnotes system on my nook I ordered it off of amazon and after not being able to take it to work because of the size I ripped it in half. Solved all my problems except now my boyfriend believes me to be a crazy person.

*first time logging into aim in a while*
ME: I'm on 53 peoples' buddy lists
MY BF: Probably just bots.

Gee thanks, guess I'm not secretly popular.

Pandora doesn't know me at all.

2011-10-15T13:40:00.000-07:00

Been trolling certain stations on Pandora trying to find what is me. Indie dance? God no. Dubstep? Couldn't get into it. Just turned on the ambient station and I shit you not the song from gladiator is playing now. Haven't had time to look it up but its Lisa Gerrard Elysium. I'm pretty fucking sure that's the song. God I love movies. They really need to start making more original screenplays instead of these book adaptations. 50-50 was pretty good. Jesus god, can they make good ambient music WITHOUT wind chimes. I feel like a nerd-o because the only thing I'm consistently listening to is symphonic. Better post this now because my touchpad is running out of juice.

straight to hell

2011-10-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

I need more music in my life. The soundtrack to life has been painfully quiet. Work has been work, meticulous and gratifying only in that I am supporting myself like a functioning member of society. I want to write more, but in writing what I know all I know is that the days are long and boring.

Going to Japan in December. Hopefully before connecting to Okinawa I'll get to wander around Tokyo for a bit. Want to leave a note to self here (partly because I'm probably the only one who reads this anyways) that I need to find a good recommendation for a good non-fiction book to read, preferably something about the FBI. Jeffrey Eugenides new novel is coming out pretty soon, I need to pick that up. And set up Sirius radio with my truck. Sirius wants the vin to set it up and... Oh god this isn't interesting at all. The weather is finally cooling down. I love fall/winter. I feel good. Im in a much better state of mind. I feel calm, energized almost. Its only when I'm completely stagnant, sitting in the apartment bored, when I start feelings contemptible. I have been slowly making my way through infinite jest but there are so many distractions. Reddit, the internet, my phone. I've decided I love the name Orin. I'll name my future (so amazingly far in the future) children Orin and Calliope, or Lola. I don't know why I'm thinking of that, I just love names. My foot fell asleep. I need music.

I need a steady sleep rhythm.

notice the sudden change in the weather?

2011-08-02T20:57:00.000-07:00

if i wasn't a terrible person, i don't think se7en would make me feel this much better about life in general.

jesus christ.

2011-08-02T01:38:00.000-07:00

*)inception
*)a scanner darkly
*)pi
*)memento
*)the fountain
*)shutter island
*)the matrix
*)the thirteenth floor

365 rotations

2011-07-31T21:02:00.001-07:00

I am so fucking tired of being boring.

machine gun-portishead

2011-07-05T16:11:00.000-07:00

Well... that looks good, but sounds even better.

Thinking about it. o.O

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

2011-06-05T15:26:00.001-07:00

i know what i want to do. i'm gonna do it to it. and move it move it.

the girl with the dragon tattoo

2011-06-05T15:01:00.001-07:00

the trailer looks fucking sick. rooney mara looks awesome and daniel craig looks, well like daniel craig.

Boy, I think about it every night and day.

2011-05-27T15:31:00.000-07:00

THREE DAY WEEKEND! :)

I feel so much rage and unkempt anger.

2011-05-04T18:15:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I feel so inadequate.

The greatest goodness is a peaceful mind.
The greatest meditation is a mind that lets go.
The greatest wisdom is seeing through appearances.
Do not speak- unless it improves on silence.

You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself,
and you will not find that person anywhere.

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much
as your own unguarded thoughts.

Make an island of yourself,
make yourself your refuge;
there is no other refuge.
Make truth your island,
make truth your refuge;
there is no other refuge.

Things are not what they appear to be: nor are they otherwise.

Happiness does not come from having much, but from being attached to little.

If the love within your mind is lost and you see other beings as enemies, then no matter how much knowledge or education or material comfort you have, only suffering and confusion will ensue.

I haven't taken the time to really

2011-04-29T22:24:00.000-07:00

"And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but it doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I've been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own. Well, fuck everybody. Amen." - Synecdoche, NY Charlie Kaufman

One of the things I still struggle with daily since realizing truly and finally that I do not believe in an afterlife, or religion as it is structured by Christians is the brief moment in time that my life is. I remember being a kid and really feeling just weird about out of all the people in the world that I could have been, that I am ME. That I am ME with MY OWN thoughts and MY OWN name and that there was no one else sharing my exact consciousness, that everyone else is the narrator in their story and I am a brief sentence, here and there, that I appear and disappear quicker than I'd like to admit. I was younger than six, because I remember thinking this in New Mexico on the toilet. Ever since then I've been trying to be a bigger part of a story, of anyones story. It's not possible. It's never possible. We are all islands, John Donne was wise to it, but I'll never stop fighting it.

The world is a fine place and worth fighting for. I agree with the second part.

2011-04-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

I really don't care how shitty that looks, I used the snipping tool bc I wasn't allowed to save it, but whatevs you get the gist of the shoe.

I don't know why, I just really want a shoe like this. Perhaps it has to do with my ankle being a total asshole and not allowing me to practically and painlessly able to wear a steep heel. No matter how beautiful it looks.

Not that I could possibly afford any shoe as beautiful as this.

I will never stop right click + saving as and NEVER NEVER NEVER correctly naming images with where they're from and what season they're from. I should be used to the fact that I am unorganized to a deadly fault, but I'm not. I want to think I am a neat and organized person but it is just not meant to be. My levels of care are so sporadic that it's an exercise in true futility to even try anymore.

I wish people my age would vote.

2011-04-28T16:32:00.000-07:00

"We [choose] to suffer and be free, than live under the degrading influence of laws, which our voice could not be heard in their formation." - George W. Harkins

Holy fuckballs.

2011-04-27T19:30:00.001-07:00

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.

Swear to god I just tried to spell beyonce - "biance" Idk... I'm tired? She looks so crazily amazing and fiercely psycho in this video. Love most of the styling although I'm not sure about those cat eye sunglasses. Also, big NONONO on the song. The video's great.

No & thank you please madam, I ain't lost. Just wandering.

2011-04-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

Just finished reading World War Z. Took a brief break from reading Infinite Jest. I'm thinking about reading Although Of Course You End Up Becoming Yourself while I'm reading IJ, but idk if that would really add anything to the read.

World War Z was okay. I kept wanting the short story-esque to combine somehow into a more complete narrative. Maybe I've just been spoiled on narratives like the movie Crash and Pulp Fiction(?), I guess but I don't know I really expected it to pull together somehow. It ended up feeling really disjointed and although I appreciated the chaotic feel of it all I couldn't help but wish for certain characters, certain plots and subplots to be expanded on or merged. Particularly the Japanese otaku and the blind man, the female (and possibly crazy pilot), and the K-9 trainer. Overall, I'd give it a 6/10. Pretty easy read.

Continuing on with Infinite Jest. I swear this book will be the death of me.

Reddit book exchange.

2011-04-10T20:50:00.000-07:00

Pics later, but I just wanted to share what I got for my reddit r/books gift exchange(e?).

I got him(pretty sure it's a him): East of Eden by John Steinbeck, a biography of Che Guevara by Jon Anderson, Kingdom Come by J.G. Ballard and One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest by Ken Kesey. So hard to decide what to get a stranger.

classic literature
nonfiction: philosophy, fiction, biographies & memoirs, non-fiction, audiobooks, literature (drama), politics

That's all I had to go on. One thing I did learn that I did not know before was that Half Price Books is fucking awesome. Was so close to buying a book about Symbols by Carl Jung. Now that I think about it, I should have gotten it. Damn.

:)

hell is other people.

2011-04-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

Haven't been reading shit. Haven't been writing shit. I really don't know what to say... life is good. Effortless. :)

I made BIG life changes, and they're FINALLY starting to pay off.

2011-03-25T18:56:00.000-07:00

"Long story short: the grass is green EVERYWHERE as long as you water it yourself. I'm not going to be telling anybody how to life their life, boo boo, because I don't claim to know anyones just like no one knows mine. Love life, people, worry about yourself."

I said that today to a fb post I was almost offended by but CHOSE not to be.

I made a commitment to myself and to the people I truly LOVE (my family, my wonderful boyfriend, and myself) that I will MAKE CHANGES and become who I want to be regardless of whether everything goes my way. I did it, some parts were fucking hard and some parts were easy but I made it through the initial storm and everything is starting to look up finally and I really feel ready for any other bad weather on the horizon.

Okay no more cheesy shit.

fade into you

2011-03-04T14:25:00.001-08:00

"AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, FROM MY GENERATION AND MAYBE THE KIDS YOUNGER THAN US, THERE ARE DIFFERENT THINGS THAT WE’RE AFRAID OF. WE’RE AFRAID OF BEING TRITE; WE’RE AFRAID OF BEING SENTIMENTAL; WE’RE AFRAID OF BEING MAWKISH; WE’RE AFRAID OF BEING STALE AND FORMULAIC UNLESS WE ARE STALE AND FORMULAIC IN A WAY THAT POKES FUN AT ITS STALE, FORMULAIC QUALITY. I MEAN, WE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT SO MUCH BOTH BY THE LESSONS OF TELEVISION AND THE SATURATION OF TELEVISION—WHAT ARE THE THINGS TO BE AFRAID OF? AND ONE OF THE BIG REASONS WHY IRONY, YOU KNOW IT’S BEEN THE KIND OF MODE OF DISCOURSE IN THE CULTURE FOR THE LAST THIRTY YEARS, HAS REALLY CEASED TO BE PALLIATIVE OR HELPFUL, IS THAT IRONY IS THIS MARVELOUS CARAPACE THAT I CAN USE TO SHIELD MYSELF FROM SEEMING TO YOU TO BE NAIVE OR SENTIMENTAL, OR TO BUY THE LUSH BANALITIES THAT TELEVISION GIVES, RIGHT? IF I SHOW YOU THAT I BELIEVE THAT WE’RE BOTH BASTARDS AND THAT THERE’S NO POINT TO ANYTHING AND THAT I WAS LAST NAIVE AT ABOUT AGE SIX, THEN I PROTECT MYSELF FROM YOUR JUDGMENT OF THE WORST POSSIBLE FLAW IN ME, SENTIMENTALITY AND NAIVETE—THE WAY OF PROPER APPEARANCE OF DECORUM WOULD SHIELD ME FROM YOUR JUDGMENT OF ME AS DEVIANT OR OFFENSIVE THIRTY OR FORTY YEARS AGO. AND THERE—I CAN’T QUITE FIGURE IT OUT, BUT TV AND POPULAR CULTURE HAVE I THINK EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THAT SHIFT. OF WHAT’S THE FUNDAMENTAL STUFF THAT WE’RE SCARED OF, NOT JUST AS PEOPLE AND AS WRITERS, AND WHAT TECHNIQUES DO WE USE TO SHIELD ONE ANOTHER FROM JUDGMENT."

David Foster Wallace

janis singing ball and chain

2011-03-01T05:23:00.000-08:00

It's early, I wish I could sleep. Remnants of a headache linger as flies, unwelcome pests, while bothersome tenants have become quite adept at keeping me conscious. I won't retire just yet because I have to listen to countless covers of countless songs that were already good. I've got to read at sixty percent brain function and hope I'll retain some of it like a used sponge.

infinite jest pt. 1

2011-03-01T00:26:00.000-08:00

So far, it's been kind of hard settling into the groove of this book. There have been some pretty awesome fucking moments though that keep me going. The detail is staggering. Making sense of every single little oration and lists that go on and on is pretty grueling. The footnotes are amusing and the character Hal is pretty likable, something tells me that I will be led along a path where I come to empathize and identify more and more with him as the book progresses, leading to me being ultimately unable to communicate with anyone who hasn't read alongside with me.

List of words I've taken note of:
phylacteryish
benighted
"dyed in the wool
imprimatur
adenoidal (rheumy)
dipsomaniac
[dedicated to D.W Griffith & Taka Imura]
immolate
[Godbout Vodriard]
odalisque
[The Machine in the Ghost: Annular Holography for Fun and Prophet]
[Obssessed with Bernini's "The Ecstasy of ????"]
lachrymose ^remember from lemony snicket lol lake lachrymose^
[The man who began to suspect he was made out of glass]
recidivist
"etymologically precocious"
ibid
-sui testator-
festschrift
annulation
"let's down his pedagogical hair"
plosivity x
palestra x(i)
pedentive x
uremic (-hued)
pedalferrous - fallow - denuded - fulvous (p.134)
teratogenic
halation
torpid
Narcissus : Echo :: Kierkegaard : Regina

page 154 out of 1427

sah-weet ♥

2011-02-24T15:24:00.000-08:00

moschino loves kartell ♥

Shimmer shimmer, cocoa puff.

2011-02-24T03:11:00.000-08:00

Int. cold, muted, modern.

2011-02-22T22:23:00.000-08:00

The Patriot Act

2011-02-08T23:48:00.000-08:00

Just realized today how much less I believe in government social assistance. I don't even think very much of fafsa and government grants. A lot of good they did me. Haven't really given as much thought to it as I should have. Don't really care though. I am so fucking BORED. Bored of being on the computer, bored of doing nothing, bored bored bored. BORED. Not really anything to do. I guess I should just join a gym and start going. Being this bored is fucking annoying. I miss my mom. And my brothers. And Jesus. I wonder what they're doing right now. Fuck my life.

zuni, new mexico

2011-02-01T18:20:00.000-08:00

Some things like distance and time, in this world, have only come to pass because of the illusions of people lacking imagination. Relatively they measured time in revolutions of the sun, in ticking on mechanical devises, but it is so much more than that. It is the dragging out of minutes, the anticipation that leads to long, breathless centuries of thought. Of waiting hours for a word of reprimand after wrongdoing, to the passion-filled afternoon that seemed to glide by on rails like seconds.

Those who live longer are those who have not the heart to let go. My great-grandfather died at 108 years old, when my brother was 8, in the same house as his two daughters in the twilight of their lives. One divorced, with my father and aunt already grown enough to have families of their own, and one abandoned with a faded picture of her husband's new family on her wall.

The house is the setting of almost all my early memories, cloistered in a wide open clearing; trees on one side, fields on the other. Sometimes, white sheep would graze in those fields while my brother and I threw rocks that bounced off their wool. We howled like wolves with laughter. Perhaps the oldest and one of the last memories I have of my proud great-grandfather, is one in which he was a fixture in the room to us. His breathing always loud and rhythmic had become the background to our giggles and child talks. We drew on the walls with crayons while our grandmother herded the sheep outside. He would yell reprimands at us from his bed, which we would ignore because we knew he could never enforce them and he'd look at us with angry, indolent eyes. Minutes would pass, I'd glance at him and catch him with a look of mischief in his eyes that I recognized in my brother's and even my own father's. He was proud. Of what I would not understand until years later, but I could never forget that look.

i'll even buy blondie here a drink.

2010-12-16T12:34:00.003-08:00

2x11 Evolution -_- MMmm I want a tart.

2010-12-15T15:24:00.000-08:00

Gorgeous jacket, I love her. :)

LOVE the jacket. Too bad it's probably like $1K over my budget. Which, right now, is zero. *Sigh* Here comes the If I Had Money, List: 1)Saturnalia presents *double sigh* 2) This jacket 3) Naked Palette and
4)
Levi's + Pendleton's limited edition ._.

DREAM BIG.

Anyways. Been watching Sex & the City, being so glad my boyfriend is not Mr. Big. The other day he asked me if he could display his little red Lamborghini and I said something that meant no. I should have said yes because this is his room too and I dunno why I had a problem with it in the first place. I think most of all I just need to lighten up in all areas of my life.

2010-12-14T14:18:00.000-08:00

I'd love bubblegum pink hair and a house with those insides. I dunno how the pink would agree with me.

2010-11-23T23:45:00.000-08:00

Would things be different if you knew just how easy it is to lose me. How I can burst like a bubble blown on a hot day. How I can crumble like a dried leaf under the littlest pressure. I wouldn't want anything to be different.

My boyfriend has an infinite store of patience.

have a nice dinner.

2010-11-23T01:55:00.000-08:00

"And then I look down down down the long way down and it's just too far. I become dizzy and have to take a few steps back. The strip of lights dot the horizon like a flattened crescent moon. The party behind me muffles the sound of nature with its laughter and casual conversation. Suddenly the wind feels fresh and the bubbly feels dry and caught in my throat. Then I have to go back."

CONAN

2010-11-11T20:39:00.000-08:00

Episode #1 Baa Baa Blackmail: Absolutely amazing haha. Seth Rogen seemed a little nervous and it was weird to see him all skinny minny. On the flipside, I hate Lea Michele . She just strikes me as trying too hard. Holy fuck the moon moves! Jack White looked like what I would look like if thrown in front of 4 million people... like I'm about to crack under the pressure. His skin looked like paper.

Episode #2 Murder She Tweeted: Whenever I hear Tom Hanks, I just close my eyes and picture everything he's saying as Woody. It's way better. Seriously though, who doesn't like Tom Hanks. Jack McBrayer is fucking funny. The whale thing was pretty cool beans, but seeing as how I have a pathological fear of whales it wasn't as fun for me and I hope it doesn't become a regular thing in the future -____-.

Episode #3 Dead Men Don't Wear Spanx: Man, Jon Hamm is pretty charismatic. I liked how you could really tell Conan watches Mad Men by how he was talking to him. Charlyne Yi is such a lovable nut. I really hope one day she's not all dolled up and hollywood-ified but I really doubt that'd happen. Kinda makes me sad that Cera kicked her to the curb, they'd be the indie-hipster-nerd-quirky King & Queen of awkward youth.

Tomorrow, a more detailed review of Episode #4 The Mummenschantz Conundrum. I wrote those^^ as an afterthought days later so they're pretty barebones. Might edit later. Toodleloo!

Dear Marilyn, Thanks.

2010-11-07T14:05:00.000-08:00

Marilyn's stuffing

Time: 2 hours

No garlic

A 10-ounce loaf sourdough bread

1/2 pound chicken or turkey livers or hearts

1/2 pound ground round or other beef

1 tablespoon cooking oil

4 stalks celery, chopped

1 large onion, chopped

2 cups chopped curly parsley

2 eggs, hard boiled, chopped

1 1/2 cups raisins

1 cup grated Parmesan

1 1/4 cups chopped walnuts, pine nuts or roasted chestnuts, or a combination

2 teaspoons dried crushed rosemary

2 teaspoons dried crushed oregano

2 teaspoons dried crushed thyme

3 bay leaves

1 tablespoon salt-free, garlic-free poultry seasoning (or 1 teaspoon dried sage, 1 teaspoon marjoram, 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger and 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg)

1 tablespoon kosher salt, plus more to taste

1 tablespoon pepper.

1. Split the bread loaf in half and soak it in a large bowl of cold water for 15 minutes. Wring out excess water over a colander and shred into pieces.

2. Boil the livers or hearts for 8 minutes in salted water, then chop until no piece is larger than a coffee bean.

3. In a skillet over medium-high heat, brown the ground beef in the oil, stirring occasionally and breaking up the meat, so no piece is larger than a pistachio.

4. In your largest mixing bowl, combine the sourdough, livers, ground beef, celery, onion, parsley, eggs, raisins, Parmesan and nuts, tossing gently with your hands to combine. Whisk the rosemary, oregano, thyme, bay leaves, poultry seasoning, salt and pepper together in a bowl, scatter over the stuffing and toss again with your hands. Taste and adjust for salt. Refrigerate, covered, until ready to use as a stuffing or to bake separately as dressing.

Yield: 20 cups, enough for one large turkey, 2 to 3 geese or 8 chickens.

2010-09-13T00:41:00.000-07:00

SHINYYYYYyyYYyyyy

newest acquisition? library card.

2010-08-24T10:21:00.001-07:00

"do you know what existential means, because someone said my writing was existential. so i thought i would coordinate, you know, with wardrobe." "yeah, that's what camus would have done."

this place has gone from pleasant to icebox and i lost an hour and it seemed like a minute. the vogue i was reading earlier was replaced with a newer one. i'd give all my worldly possessions away at this moment for a pair of woolen socks.

today's gonna be just okay, i've decided.

2010-08-05T09:35:00.000-07:00

berry stained lipstick; jezabel lancome.
there's an old woman with skinny knobbly knees staring straight ahead like she doesn't know what year it is. she's gone now, walking down an aisle in her oversized white button up tshirt and black pants. there was a scary looking ginger here earlier, he had a tattoo but i could only see the arial-like bold letters: N and S. i think it said "brains" because he just seems like someone who'd get something like that. his dirty wrinkled t-shirt was advertising some kind of alcoholic beverage on it. i'm thirsty. i wanted coffee but there was nowhere to stop on my way over here except valero but i hate valero coffee. spent 30 minutes reading vogue with marion cotillard on the cover. imagining myself in her life was the best thing about today.

50 woes for 50 shmoes.

2010-08-04T21:09:00.000-07:00

we are who we pretend to be, k. vonnegut

i've been a ghost these 21 years, maybe been trying to live backwards. being dead, waking up, living and being reborn. every year learning that i know less than i thought i did. i don't know if this is the right decision or even the smart decision, but it's my decision and it wasn't taken lightly. i'll live close to my heart and that's that. i haven't written anything longer than this paragraph in months. blah